Trust

God often uses the experiences in our lives to teach us lessons.  The answers to our prayers, the yeses, nos, wait and see all can be used to help us grow. I think God is often trying to teach me patience and trust in His plan. I've chosen a career where the payout is long term, because I will literally be in school forever, so I have to trust that each step of the way is contributing to the long term goal of my vocation. I've seen countless friends enter into relationships and get married, and while that area of my life is still in writing, I've learned patience and trust in God's long term plan (still working on that one), and I've seen how the opportunities in my life and where God is calling me to serve may not have been possible if I were walking a different path.

So God uses our experiences to teach us all the time, to teach us to trust in Him and his timing. I've always known that, but I've still held on to some semblance of control in a lot of situations, choosing where to go to school, choosing to say yes or no. But recently God has been teaching me about his timing through someone else's suffering, and nothing about the situation is in my control. It is hard to cope with watching someone suffer and knowing that there will be an eventual outcome, but it is made even more difficult when you don't know what the timeframe is. You want to keep them around for as long as possible, but you also want their suffering to end. You feel guilty wanting things to be one way or another, and wonder if it is selfish to want them to stay and selfish to want them to be free. It takes endurance and relying on God to understand his mercy and to understand the lessons we learn through suffering. It takes strength of character to truly say in your heart "not my will, but yours" and give the anxiety and the heartache over to God. I know trials teach us something in the long term, but sometimes it is not visible at first. Again, this takes trusting that God will eventually reveal to us how those experiences shaped us. This verse spoke to me this morning, and gave me reassurance that even if we don't get the answers or the relief in this life, God has bigger plans for all of us.

"The God of all grace who called you to his eternal glory through Christ Jesus will himself restore, confirm, strengthen, and establish you after you have suffered a little. To him be dominion forever. Amen"

1 Peter 5:10-11

I could say a lot more about timing and suffering and mercy, but wiser folks than me have shared those messages before. All I'll leave you with is this: Surrender yourself to trust in God. He will never lead you astray.

Lenten Promises

Lent is here! This year, I'm focusing on my prayer life and increasing quiet time with God, so my "to-do's" are all falling in that area. I like breaking down my Lent into the three areas reflected in Matthew's Gospel read during Ash Wednesday mass (read it here), which are prayer, fasting and alms giving.

Prayer:

• Morning prayer includes a daily reflection using the Blessed is She Lenten reflection journal "Put on Love" written by Elizabeth Foss. This is a beautiful journal that I've loved using the first two days, and the community and daily devotionals on the website really help set my mind for the day! Check them out at blessedisshe.net
• Evening reading of something to quiet my mind and reflect on Jesus, whether it be the scripture, an article or a book. I'm working my way through Lent through Father James Martin, SJ's book Jesus: A Pilgrimage, which goes through Jesus' life story with reflections from scripture, history and Father Martin's own pilgrimage to the Holy Land. (P.S. Father Martin is a great writer and has a lots of great posts and videos! Check him out on Twitter, Facebook, Instagram and at America Media 

Fasting:

• To help create more space for prayer, reading and writing, I'm fasting from (but not giving up completely) watching so much TV. Sometime the quiet freaks me out, so I put Netflix on in the background or aimlessly watch it in between classes or before bed, so I want to eliminate that aimlessness. I'm not giving it up completely but becoming more intentionally about my time and limiting my shows that I watch to create time for other things.

Alms giving:

• While I am giving to the Bishop's Annual appeal during Lent, I'm trying to give of my time more, especially through prayer.  A lot of the people in my life are physically far away from me, so I can't help them physically, which stresses me out. But I can help them spiritually, by offering up their intentions in prayer and dedicating my time to them. I'm trying to write prayer intention cards each day for different people, with the intent on sending them eventually, to commit to praying for other's intentions and lifting them up in prayer. (So if you have a prayer request, let me know!)

I'll try to document how its going during Lent, but I'm pretty excited because I feel like this is an area of life I really need to work on this year, and I'm planning on carrying out this intentionality after Lent is over.

What are your Lenten promises?

A Lenten Reflection

"But when you pray, go to your inner room, close the door, and pray to your Father in secret. And your Father who sees in secret will repay you."

-Matthew 6:6

As I was praying before Ash Wednesday mass yesterday, before I even realized the contents of the Gospel reading, I was thinking about shame and why we sometimes hide our faith.  I've been reading a lot about vulnerability and whole-hearted living, a focus of the work of storyteller and researcher Brene Brown (more about her work later), I was thinking about shame in response to the things we keep private about our faith. There is a difference, I believe, between keeping our prayer, fasting and alms giving secret in order to be humble and not boastful, and keeping our faith private because we are scared of societies judgement.

Peace from Momma Mary

Happy January 1st! Today is both the Feast of the Solemnity of the Blessed Virgin Mary and also the 50th World Day of Peace, first celebrated by Blessed Pope Paul VI in 1967.

Pope Francis reminds us that while we live in a broken world, "violence is not the cure for our broken world… " but that we still have peace and mercy as options available to us. And as the song states, it must start with us, it must start at home.

During the homily at mass tonight, the Monsignor connected peace to the celebration and reflection of Mary's role in the birth of Christ. In reviewing the Hail Mary, the priest pointed out the phrase "blessed are you among women and blessed is the fruit of thy womb Jesus". He pointed out that not only does the phrase encompass Mary's holiness but also her peace. While I had never heard of this interpretation, the priest went on to discuss how Mary is a vessel of peace, bringing into the world the ultimate Prince of Peace.  During the Gospel reading, the shepherds relay to Mary what the angels have told them about her Son. The scriptures state that Mary "kept all these things, reflecting on them in her heart." She reacted peacefully, taking in what was told to her to heart and reflecting to understand the meaning. Her peaceful reaction should be a model for all of us, a way to take in what we hear and what we see and reflect on what God is saying to us or teaching us in the moment. Blessed is She presented a beautiful devotion today on the importance of reflective listening, and slowing down to hear wheat God is saying to us. Listening to God's words to our hearts will allow us to develop inner peace, furthermore allowing us to project that peace out into the world.


 For we must remember what St. Teresa of Calcutta told us, "If we have no peace, it is because we have forgotten that we belong to each other."

Equip Me, Lord

In our Young Adults group tonight, we were reading Saturday's Gospel for the Feast of St. Andrew. The Gospel is from Matthew and it tell of the mission of the twelve, when after seeing a crowd filled with disease and illness, Jesus' 

"...Heart was moved with pity for them because they were trouble and abandoned, like sheep without a shepherd" 

(Matthew 9:36)

After this, he summons the twelve disciplines and gives them authority to go out into ministry and drive out unclean spirits and cure illness. Somehow we got on the topic of giving and receiving, and when is it the right time to act. Some people were stressing the point of needing to fill your own cup before you can pour out to others, while others were discussing how through serving from our brokenness, we are not only giving to others but also giving to ourselves.

It got me thinking about my own giving, and not just in the sense of service work, but giving of myself, giving of Christ to others. I very often fall into the camp of feeling like I never know enough to share, or I never know what to share or how to share it correctly. I don't have it polished and perfected enough to put out in the world, either in person or through this blog, and so I don't do it. It’s a reflection of a struggle within myself, that I am hesitant to produce a product that is less than perfect and present it to the world. But someone in group tonight brought up the point that we don't learn from individuals who are perfect. Those are not the stories we are drawn to. We are drawn to those who share a common struggle, whom we can relate to, and whose lives we can learn from. I think that is something that makes the saints so powerful. They are incredibly holy men and women, and yet their stories are filled with hardship and brokenness. Look at St. Teresa of Calcutta. She went through such an extended period of darkness, of not feeling Christ's presence and of sometimes doubting, yet she is one of the most holy women of our time. Just because we don’t feel prepared or perfect doesn't mean we can't serve or share.

This whole thought process was making me think of this space, this blog. I write so infrequently one, due to time, but also due to the fact that I feel like I don’t have anything good enough to say. That no one will read it, so why bother. But I want to end that. I like to write, and I am trying to find my voice, though it isn't perfect. So why not share it all here, why not start giving of myself and my stories, because I have received so much through Christ and as the last line of the Gospel passage reflects, 

"Without cost you have received; without cost you are to give".

I don't feel prepared, but as I opened my Bible to write, a note card fell out with a quote I heard in college "God doesn't call the equipped, He equips the called," and I have faith that what I need to serve with be provided for by God.

"If we have no peace, it is because we have forgotten that we belong to each other" 

-St. Teresa of Calcutta

As I sit here in Florida, my heart breaks for Charlotte, my city. My heartbreaks for those who feel the pain of injustice. My heartbreaks for those who are scared. My heartbreaks for those who don't know what the best solution is. My heart breaks for my beautiful city and for all of those cities and families and communities affected by injustices. 

Prodigal

The story of the Prodigal Son, which is this week's Gospel reading, is a well known story, a story about greed and humility, a story about mercy. I went to the young adult group (!) held by the Catholic Church on campus, and we reflected on this week's Gospel. While I kept quiet for the most part, it was so interesting to hear other's revelations about this famous story. 

A few thoughts that were shared tonight:

• In the beginning, the younger son was very greedy. But not only that, he wanted what was "owed to him" in the form of his inheritance, something only received after the father would have passed. So not only does he say give me what I am "owed", he could be alluding to the fact that his father/family is now dead to him. This only heightens his distancing himself from his father in his belief that he can live life "his way".
• What do we throw away to pursue what we want or think we need?
• After squandering his inheritance on things he *thinks* will bring him fulfillment, he resorts to thinking"And he would have gladly filled his stomach with the pods that the swine were eating, and no one was giving anything to him". He is so desperate for something to fill him that he would eat pig slop.
• Are we ever so desperate that we resort to "pig slop" to fill our needs and desires?
• "Father, I have sinned against heaven, and in your sight; I am no longer worthy to be called your son”..... But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and felt compassion for him, and ran and embraced him and kissed him."
• Through his sin, the son feels unworthy of the father's love or grace. But the father doesn't merely accept his son back into the family, no he "saw him and felt compassion for him, and ran and embraced him". The father's love and mercy was not contingent on how the son behaved, it was unreserved and unwavering no matter what, and he gave him the best he had to offer.
• The older son's jealously is a reminder of a few things:
• One, God doesn't love us because we try to be perfect. We are able to strive towards holiness because God loves us unconditionally
• Two, We are not the judges of who is deserving of what. We need to take a reality check and humble ourselves.
• Three, does our pursuit of the "good" keep us from pursuing the "best" or the "greatest"? The older son was so concerned with playing by the roles, or doing what was good, that he forgot that the greater good was loving his brother and welcoming him home. 

I think that last point is an interesting one. How often do we concern ourselves with things that aren't bad, that may be good, but that keep us from the greatest good? It isn't bad to spend time with friends or family, but if that time spent interferes with our ability to seek God, is the good getting in the way of a greater good? I feel like this is a hard question to answer, especially for the person who feels like they are doing the right thing and "deserves" the splendors that the younger son receives. But we don't deserve anything because of what we do or don't do. We deserve the gifts of the Father because of who HE is, not because of who we are.

Joy.

Like everyone else in the country, I've been glued to my TV/Laptop/Twitter account this week watching, listening and reading the coverage of Pope Francis' Inaugural visit to the U.S. I think I've talked to every person I could possibly know about Pope Francis in the coming months, and I reached a point where I couldn't keep my cool when talking about him, even at work.

Quote form Evangelii Gaudium Chapter One

"More than by fear of going astray, my hope is that we will be moved by the fear of remaining shut up within structures which give us a false sense of security, within rules that make us harsh judges, within habits with make us feel safe, while at our door people are starving and Jesus does not tire of saying to us: 'Give them something to eat' (Mark 6:37) "

Pope Francis

Time to step outside our comfort zone.

Cyberbully

It was a typical Monday night and the roommates and I were sitting down for our weekly viewing of The Bachelorette. I completely admit that the franchise is my biggest guilty pleasure. Even though the vehicle is unorthodox and doesn't necessarily work a lot of the time, watching someone chase after love is intriguing. No, I don't think the show promotes the best morals in terms of how we go about looking for love, but I love it nevertheless. This season has been one of "the most dramatic seasons of the Bachelorette ever"....as it always is (Chris Harrison I am buying you a thesaurus to up your adjective game) and tonight aired the "Men Tell All" episode. Always drama, always people accusing others or defending why they did something, always the heartfelt last words of the last gent sent home (<3 Ben H. <3) to Kaitlyn. All very typical MTA episode stuff. 

Kaitlyn made many choices on the show, some of which I agree with some of which I don't. She owned up to her choices and mistakes. The backlash of cyber harassment that followed her during the airing of the show was atrocious. Whether or not you agree with her, bullying someone for any reason is NOT okay. 

This is a topic very close to my heart. I work on a psychology research team that studies relational aggression and cyber bullying and works to create programs to help kids deal with aggression, bullying and friendship problems in healthy ways. It is disheartening to see adults take to social media outlets to bully and harass other individuals who they "know" through a TV program. 

There is a difference between expressing an opinion and harrassment. It is fine to disagree with any one person's choices and lifestyle and to defend your beliefs and morals. It is okay to feel a certain way about a person, a TV show and those who participated. In one of my programs, we teach our kids that "all emotions are okay but all actions are not okay". That's where the choice comes in. That is where you decide how to take what you are feeling and deal with it. 

A lot of bullying has to deal with power and I think with cyberbullying in particular, people who may not feel powerful in their everyday lives take to a space where they can remain anonymous to exert power over another person. Making fun of someone for their choices or appearance and using derogatory terms, which not only hurt the intended victim but normalizes the use of such language to make it seem okay to demoralize one another with that language, not only hurts that person and those in their life, but it also makes hatred socially acceptable. By attacking someone else to defend our beliefs we show others, especially those who learn from us, that the only way to stand up for your beliefs is to knock others down. We become less loving role models and become more stereotypes of religious judgement.

Our God is a God of love, not of hatred. Does that mean God endorses or wants His beloved children to disobey him? No, but that God also doesn't want His children spreading hatred and judgement as a way to try and get others to see His Message. Jesus didn't die for us and continue to offer Himself in the Eucharist to us  so that we may demoralized and judge our fellow brothers and sisters when they fall. He called us "to love our neighbor as ourselves" (Mark 12:31) and His future follower, St. Francis of Assisi calls us to "preach the Gospel at all time, if necessary use words." We don't change the hearts of others and help lead them towards Jesus by shaming them with hatred. We don't impact the next generation by dismissing someone as a role model by calling them derogatory names. We don't become more powerful leaders for Christ by making others less powerful. 

"Children, let us love not in word or speech but in deed and truth"

1 John 3:18 

A Future Not My Own

God slow me down

I'm like a river running

Pressed to the ground

I feel it overcoming

I'm on my knees

I'm incomplete

This is a great unknown

Love is a long and narrow road

Come chase this heart of stone

I need a future not my own

Your spirit groans

Where all my words are ceasing

Can't do this alone

Lord help my unbelieving

My poverty

I'm incomplete 

This is a great unknown

Love is a long and narrow road

Come chase this heart of stone

I need a future not my own

Not my own

We see the start but You see the end

We see in part but Your love sees everything

We plant the seeds but You make them grow

We're building a house, You're building a home

This is the great unknown

Love is a long and narrow road

Come chase this heart of stone

I need a future not my own

This world is not my home

I still have miles and miles to go

Come break this heart of stone

I need a future not my own

It's burning in my soul

I've been trying to feed my spiritual life more lately.
The closet church to where I live is the Basilica for our Archdiocese, so I tend to walk there on Sunday mornings for an early mass. The walk there is not that interesting, so I try to listen to music.

For the past few weeks, the first song I instinctively played as I start walking is "Burning in my Soul"by Matt Maher. Now. I. Love. Matt. Maher. (but more on that later)
The song leaves me with a desire for more, to have a passion reignited in my soul for Christ and His Church. I love listening to this song on my way to Mass, because it almost "pumps me up" for Mass, gets me excited to spend time in the celebration, gets me ready to "hear the sound from heaven, a mighty rushing wind" through the Word and to be nourished by His Body.

I love this song because it reminds me of the beginning of this year, when I started to thirst more for a deeper relationship with our Lord

I got to see Matt Maher perform in October at a music festival called Abbey Fest at the Daylesford Abbey in Paoli, Pa. 

He played as adoration began, in a field under the stars and I full on lost it.

I have always loved spending time in adoration and God has led me to some powerful experiences in adoration but I guess this time felt a little different.

I think I had been starving myself spiritually. I was so preoccupied with everything else going on in my life that I was not nourishing my soul. In that moment when Adoration began, I fully submitted to God. I didn't know what to say, to think, to pray for, so I just tried to be present in the moment of adoring a loving God.

The song has a line that says "we are calling for revival, God let your fire fall again, " and while that could be looked on as a greater metaphor for our generation calling for revival, I also take it as a personal call for me. A cry for something deeper and something more. I want my desire for Christ to be "burning in my soul" but that doesn't happen if I don't nourish and feed the soul where my desire needs to grow from. I too often want the big revelation without taking the small steps to work towards a meaningful relationship with God, and I know that I need to recommit to those small steps now in preparation for something more.

NAS: But first....Let me take a Selfie

Link up with Jen and Morgan for this great series!

Do you support the selfie trend? Do you think it promotes self absorption, vanity and narcissism? Is there a way to incorporate selfies into the Church's teachings of modesty, authentic beauty, humility?Thanks to Hannah!

Not gonna lie, not a fan of the "selfie", Whether it is the song "but first....lemme take a selfie" or the never-ending parade of pictures on Instagram. 

I love pictures. Many a turned-around camera self picture has been taken in the hopes of not missing out on a memory, usually to capture who I was with or what I was witnessing around me.

Selfie overlooking the Copenhagen skyline

Back in the day, the "selfie" was when you turned the camera around in order to get everyone in a picture but there was no extra person to take it. It's purpose was to include everyone and make a memory. Even the occasional solitary self-taken picture was to savor a moment in which no one else was able to take the picture.  I'm all for documenting memories to live on. 

I'm not a big fan of the selfie just for the sake of having a picture of yourself, especially when posted on social media. I believe in the importance of feeling confident yourself and how you look, but the I see the posting of "selfies" of just yourself comes from the need for approval from others regarding our looks and our lifestyles. 

Selfie while walking El Camino de Santiago

Now, I completely fall prey to pruning my social media accounts to display my ideal self. I don't think anyone wants to feel like they look "bad" in their pictures, but I've realized there is a line between deciding what you want displayed and what you think should be displayed. The thought process of this picture makes me look this way or if I post this picture then it looks like I am fulfilled in this area of my life can trap us into hiding who we truly are, of hiding a true beauty. 

We don't need the others to assure us of that beauty. 

Page through the Bible, especially Song of Songs and discover gems like this one:

"You are beautiful in every way, my friend, there is no flaw in you!"

Song of Songs 4:7

We need to use the selfie to capture more memories, more joy. Memories with friends, an experience of a lifetime, a moment of bliss. If we could use selfies to promote the joy of living  full lives with Christ instead of using them to promote living lives full of ourselves. 

I'm challenging myself to re-evaluate the selfie, will you?

Hope

NAS: Children

Whoops, I had all intentions of writing a post for last week's link up with Jen and Morgan, but I completely forgot!

But jumping back into things this week because I LOVE the topic!

Do you have children in your life? What is your relationship with them like? Do you have godchildren, and how do you form a relationship with them? Does having children in (or not in) your day-to-day life make you feel happy, wistful, or wary (of having your own someday)? Thanks to Lindsay! 

I'd have to say that there are a good amount of kids in my life. Let me break it down: Family-wise I am the oldest of three siblings, the oldest of 13 cousins on my Dad's side and one of 19 cousins on my mom's side, most of whom have kids (so about 13 first-cousins once removed). So I grew up around A LOT of kids. And my career has also taken me down a path of working with a lot of children. From babysitting and teaching CCD in high school, to studying to be in a career working with children in college, to two-years of teaching 6th graders and now working on initiatives in Child and Adolescent Psychology, my career goals have always been to help better the lives of children.

My Godson!

I have a godson, who is actually my godmother's son, and he is the cutest stinking kid in the entire world. I don't see him enough and I want to learn to be a better role model to him through being his Godmother, but I'm just continuing to love the little goober and his silliness for now. 

Confirmation 201

I am also blessed to have been the confirmation sponsor of two of my cousins in the past two years, and I have been able to see them develop into such strong young men, a privilege that my geography has granted me recently.  I've learned a lot from how they view the world and am ever-blessed by their humor.

Confirmation 2013

I feel like I have a good relationship with most of the kids in my life, though my little cousins have told me on more than one occasion to stop acting like their teacher #canthelpit. Although spending all day teaching wasn't the best fit for me, the part I miss most about full-time teaching is my kids. Not my students, my kids. I realized very early on in my teaching career  how quickly I began to care for my students when I started calling them "my kids", and still refer to them that way when I talk about them (which tends to confuse some people who didn't know I was a teacher.....). I loved the times when we could just talk, where I could just hear them reflect upon their life and their hopes and dreams. While I enjoyed teaching my math and science lessons, one of the most fruitful moments in teaching came from an hour and a half long conversation I had with my class the day after Pope Francis was elected. It was fascinating, in a Catholic school that serve mostly non-Catholic students, to hear their perspective on the event (side-note: All kids think the Popemobile is cool).

I think because I come from a teaching background that I am sometimes to strict with the kids in my life, but I think it is because I've see so much potential and future hope in kids and I want them to have every opportunity to use the gifts that God has bestowed upon them. The children in my life bring me the most amount of happiness in my days, especially when they blow my mind answering questions so simply. Their unbiased innocence lends itself to that, and they show me an insight into the world and the human experience that is closer to what God intends us to see than what we necessarily see when we view the world. I see myself working with kids for as long as I can, either directly in their care or in advocacy for their rights and needs. While I don't know when it may happen, if He chooses to bless me with them, I can't wait to have kids of my own one day, in whatever way God grants them to me. 

The greatest thing that teaching has taught me is that we have a lot we can learn from them while we hope they may learn something from us.

"At that time the disciples approached Jesus and said, “Who is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven?” He called a child over, placed it in their midst, and said, “Amen, I say to you, unless you turn and become like children, you will not enter the kingdom of heaven. Whoever humbles himself like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven and whoever receives one child such as this in my name receives me"

Matthew 18:1-5

joy

While I was in Mass this evening, I was reflecting on the difference between joy and happiness after receiving communion. I am happy with my life now. I really like my job and find a great deal of fulfillment with my work. I like where I live, the trips I get to take, the friends I get to see. My family is healthy and I get to visit and communicate with them often. I really have nothing to complain about. However when I was in Mass, kneeling after receiving His Body and Blood, I couldn't think of the last time I was truly joyful, truly filled with a sense of wonder and awe. I realized that the last long stretch of time that I truly felt joyful was in college when I was extremely involved with my college campus ministry group. Sure, I was crazy stressed at certain points and I may not have been happy with everything that came my way, but I experienced true moments of Joy brought by God, whether in a Bible study, on a retreat, in Adoration or teaching at Sunday school. There have been fleeting times since, but I think I lost track of joy and what joy truly was to cultivate and appreciate it. Joy is a fruit of the Holy Spirit, and as this super reliable website says, " The "fruit" is the product of the Holy Spirit's cultivation of character in a heart." Joy doesn't come from worldly things, from accomplishments, achievements and the things we acquire. Joy is a gift that comes from cultivating something within our hearts. Joy comes from God within ourselves, not from outside sources. Over the past few weeks, I'm been realizing more and more of my need and desire to come back to the heart of it all, to the heart of worship, to the heart of Jesus, and it is then, when I come back to Him, that I will find my joy.

Fall in Love

"Nothing is more practical than finding God, than falling in Love in a quite absolute, final way.

What you are in love with, what seizes your imagination, will affect everything,

It will decide what will get you out of the bed in the morning, what you do with your evenings, how you spend your weekends, what you read, whom you know, what breaks your heart, and what amazes you with joy and gratitude.

Fall in Love, stay in love, and it will decide everything."

---Pedro Arrupe, S.J.

Not Alone Series: A Day in the Life

I've always loved reading this series hosted by Jen and Morgan but up until now I have never been a contributor! With new goals this year of posting on my blog more regularly, I really want to commit to this series and the wonderful ladies who contribute!

Let's get back in the swing by sharing what our typical day is like! Tell us however you like, minute by minute or a blurb about your day! Be sure to answer these questions: 

- What is your favorite part of your day?

- What is your least favorite part of your day?

- Are you making any changes to your daily routine now that the new year has begun?

Morning:

My typical morning happens really fast, mostly because I would rather avoid city traffic and get to work early than enjoy a leisurely morning. I usually am up between 6:30 and 7:00 a.m. unless I need to be at a school extra early. The colder it gets, the more difficult it gets to get out of bed, mainly because my room is FREEZING. Our house is about 100 years old, so it doesn't heat particularly well, plus my room is rather large and doesn't heat as fast as other spaces in the house. Once I make it out of bed, its dress, make-up/hair, make tea, pack lunch, grab breakfast, bundle up (for now) and head out the door to figure out where I parked my car (yay city living!). Even though I live and work in the city, I still drive to work because I spend a lot of my time visiting different schools around town. Luckily, my commute to my office is only about 15 minutes, so I am usually in the office between 8:00 and 8:30. Once I'm in, I check emails, read the news and drink my tea to start off the day!

Day:

I work as a research assistant in the Department of Children and Adolescent Psychology at a children's hospital, so my job entails a variety of tasks. When I'm not in the office working with data and documents, I am out at a couple of different schools working on two projects implementing mental health initiatives in urban public schools. It takes about 10 minutes in person to describe my projects, so that is a post for another day!

Afternoon/Evening:

Once I leave work, I'm usually home by 5 p.m. I typically don't run errands during the week because I park my car (street parking) around 5 p.m. and I don't want to lose my spot! So evenings have typically been spent at home with my 5 roommates (yep, 5), watching TV, cooking, sometimes going to the gym and just hanging out. There are a few young adult events in my area that I want to join, but haven't gotten around to yet, so hopefully that will change soon! Occasionally we venture into the city for fun city things, but typically week nights are pretty chill. Shower, dinner, TV, read and then off to bed by 10:30/11:00 p.m.!

What is your favorite part of your day?

I really love the people I work with, so my favorite part of my day is usually mid-morning coffee or lunch where we can all catch up and exchange ideas! The same goes for at home. Anytime all the roommates get together to do something (aka hang out in the kitchen or watch a movie) is always the best.

 What is your least favorite part of your day?

Getting out of bed. It. Is. So. Cold.

 Are you making any changes to your daily routine now that the new year has begun?

I am trying to more consistently read a daily devotional in the morning and hit the gym/exercise after work. Also, like Jen said in her post, I'm trying to eliminate screen time before bed (main culprit: Netflix....)

I'm so excited to really dive into this series and get to know more people in this wonderful community!

Let it go….and Let God

Let it go…. Oscar winning Best Original Song or Mantra for my current state of life?

I pick both.

Frozen came out on DVD today, and you bet that disk was pre-ordered on Amazon 2 months ago and was waiting at my front door when I go home today.

And thank goodness it was.

Too many things were moved beyond my control today, too many things felt frustrating and unfixable, too many bad habits were reverted back to when I couldn't see a clear way out. I was frustrated, angry and yelled at all the cars around me when I was driving home (I mean, they couldn't hear me, so my rage was directed towards them…..not that it makes it any better).

I got home and sat on my bed, and just kept praying to let today go, and let tomorrow be a better day.

To Let it go, and Let God take control.

After all, its not always up to us anyhow. How other people act, especially middle schoolers, is out of my control, and all I can do is react to the situation and work with what I've got. Some days it seems impossible to just let it go and move on, but then we gave to remember that we are so loved by an all powerful and ever-giving God, and that even when we fell like the world is letting us down, He is constantly there.

Have no anxiety at all, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, make your requests known to God

Phillipians 4:6

I sometimes feel like I am "Standing, Frozen, in the life I've chosen", and that I need to break out and become a different version of myself, and I have to know that I have a God who is guiding me on an incredible path to serve Him, and that if I truly follow Him, I won't be stuck in a life without meaning, and life that I want to let go of. Yes, it may be a difficult journey, but it will be fulfilling and a life worth living for God's greater glory.

I need to "let it go" and let God in, to show me a path, help me see the best of a situation, and lead me to what really matters. If I redirect my frustration into love for those who need it most, including friends and family, I'm leading myself closer to God's path.


And after all, some people are worth melting for :D