God often uses the
experiences in our lives to teach us lessons.
The answers to our prayers, the yeses, nos, wait and see all can be used
to help us grow. I think God is often trying to teach me patience and trust in
His plan. I've chosen a career where the payout is long term, because I will
literally be in school forever, so I have to trust that each step of the way is
contributing to the long term goal of my vocation. I've seen countless friends
enter into relationships and get married, and while that area of my life is
still in writing, I've learned patience and trust in God's long term plan
(still working on that one), and I've seen how the opportunities in my life and
where God is calling me to serve may not have been possible if I were walking a
different path.
So God uses our
experiences to teach us all the time, to teach us to trust in Him and his
timing. I've always known that, but I've still held on to some semblance of
control in a lot of situations, choosing where to go to school, choosing to say
yes or no. But recently God has been teaching me about his timing through
someone else's suffering, and nothing about the situation is in my control. It
is hard to cope with watching someone suffer and knowing that there will be an
eventual outcome, but it is made even more difficult when you don't know what
the timeframe is. You want to keep them around for as long as possible, but you
also want their suffering to end. You feel guilty wanting things to be one way
or another, and wonder if it is selfish to want them to stay and selfish to
want them to be free. It takes endurance and relying on God to understand his
mercy and to understand the lessons we learn through suffering. It takes
strength of character to truly say in your heart "not my will, but yours"
and give the anxiety and the heartache over to God. I know trials teach us
something in the long term, but sometimes it is not visible at first. Again,
this takes trusting that God will eventually reveal to us how those experiences
shaped us. This verse spoke to me this morning, and gave me reassurance that
even if we don't get the answers or the relief in this life, God has bigger
plans for all of us.
"The God of all
grace who called you to his eternal glory through Christ Jesus will himself
restore, confirm, strengthen, and establish you after you have suffered a
little. To him be dominion forever. Amen"
1 Peter 5:10-11
I could say a lot
more about timing and suffering and mercy, but wiser folks than me have shared
those messages before. All I'll leave you with is this: Surrender yourself to
trust in God. He will never lead you astray.