Tuesday, March 25, 2014

25 before turning 25

My 24th birthday was Sunday. 24 isn't really a "monumental" age in any special ways, it just marks a fresh start, and chance to rethink priorities and goals, and start the "year" on a good note.

But it also marks the year leading up to 25. 

25 means I'm no longer a young 20-something. I'm mid-20's, 3 years out of college, supposedly living in the real world. It doesn't really scare me that I'm turning older, even though I always tell my students that I am "so old" (side note…a first grader asked me  if I was turning 50 when I told her it was my birthday….oh children, they have no concept of age in adults). I don't have any finite age goals to be married/have children/have a house by a certain age, mostly because I know I can't really control that arena. While sometimes I wish I was still that young 20 something, still in college, with free time, no need to wear dress pants everyday, there are also perks and freedoms that come with growing older and having more opportunities. I relish having another new year with BIG opportunities coming my way, from graduating the service program I am in, becoming a fully licensed teacher with a Master's, to getting an "actual" (real paying) job, and moving on to new opportunities. So I made a 25 before 25 years old list, a set of goals that I would like to work towards before the 25th birthday roles around. Now, some of them are sort of vague, like 'manage my money better', and as I figure out more specific strategies, I will refine my list. But for now, here is my 25 in 25 list.

1. Obtain my PA teaching license (Complete summer 2014)
2. Graduate from my Master's program with Honors (May 2014)
3. Accept a real person job! (Wahoo! Accepted April 2014)
4. Become more responsible with my finances (sorta?)
5. Invest my money (with banker Dad's help)
6. Travel to at least 2 new cities (Soon to come this summer!)
7. Take a new dance class (does a new zumba class count?)
8. Read 12 new books, no repeats (Book one is The Book Theif)
9. Apply (and possible get into) a Ph.D. program (this is postponed to next year)
10. See a new Broadway show
11. Visit the Jersey shore at least once this summer
12. Take a SCUBA trip
13. Finally get contacts
14. Decorate my first real apartment! probably with IKEA furniture…. (or furniture from my aunt, check!)
15. Invest in a classic handbag (Kate Spade...check done)
16. Make an ACE photo book
17. Send 4 letters to friends a week
18. Take a road trip to visit a friend
19. send a card to all my friends and family on their birthday (getting better at this)
20. Complete a 50 day Novena
21. Go to confession at least twice (something I am not very good at)
22. Take the baby sister on a trip for her 18th  birthday
23. Plan a reunion event for UNC homecoming (not homecoming, but reunion complete!)
24. Have a White House Reunion Weekend (see above)
25. Write on my blog once a week! (we are getting there!!!)

Tuesday, March 18, 2014

Let it go….and Let God

Let it go…. Oscar winning Best Original Song or Mantra for my current state of life?

I pick both.

Frozen came out on DVD today, and you bet that disk was pre-ordered on Amazon 2 months ago and was waiting at my front door when I go home today.

And thank goodness it was.

Too many things were moved beyond my control today, too many things felt frustrating and unfixable, too many bad habits were reverted back to when I couldn't see a clear way out. I was frustrated, angry and yelled at all the cars around me when I was driving home (I mean, they couldn't hear me, so my rage was directed towards them…..not that it makes it any better).

I got home and sat on my bed, and just kept praying to let today go, and let tomorrow be a better day.

To Let it go, and Let God take control.

After all, its not always up to us anyhow. How other people act, especially middle schoolers, is out of my control, and all I can do is react to the situation and work with what I've got. Some days it seems impossible to just let it go and move on, but then we gave to remember that we are so loved by an all powerful and ever-giving God, and that even when we fell like the world is letting us down, He is constantly there.

I sometimes feel like I am "Standing, Frozen, in the life I've chosen", and that I need to break out and become a different version of myself, and I have to know that I have a God who is guiding me on an incredible path to serve Him, and that if I truly follow Him, I won't be stuck in a life without meaning, and life that I want to let go of. Yes, it may be a difficult journey, but it will be fulfilling and a life worth living for God's greater glory.

I need to "let it go" and let God in, to show me a path, help me see the best of a situation, and lead me to what really matters. If I redirect my frustration into love for those who need it most, including friends and family, I'm leading myself closer to God's path.

And after all, some people are worth melting for :D